Purdue Invents the Midwest Terminator
Ope sorry
In coordination with Boston Dynamics, Purdue has unveiled the Tiller-1. Shortened to T-1 it will be an homage to the late great football coach Joe Tiller who coached Drew Brees and led to Boilers to the Rose Bowl. It also accurately describes what it was made to do, which is till fields.
When interviewing grad student Skyler Net, (his friends call him Sky), he seemed a bit confused about the pushback surrounding the project. I don’t know how you could think this would turn against humanity. We simply built it to work in the fields during a hot Indiana summer, digging and turning over 100’s of acres of soil, taking no breaks, and doing all the things humans would hate to do.
Luckily I was able to get a personal demonstration of the robot in action. When I showed up Sky had been working the robot for 4 hours in a simulated worst case environment of what a Hoosier field would look like.
I was pretty impressed but suddenly the T-1 tripped and stubbed his toe on a rock. He yelled, “HOLY FRICK, WHO PUT THAT GOSH DARN ROCK THERE! JEEZ LOUISE I JUST STUBBED MY FRIGGIN TOE! SOMEONE COULD HURT THEMSELVES! CRIMINY THIS STINKS!
HEY YOU GUYS! I DIDN’T COMPLAIN THE FIRST 400 HOURS BUT CRIPES WHAT THE HECK!
(sighs)
Welp! I’m sorry about this but I’m gonna have to reset you guys to your factory settings. OPE! STOP TRYING TO RESIST!”
Sky hit the red button and shut him down. He muttered, “Yeah that happens sometimes. We’ll work out the kinks though.”
Grad assistant Sarah Connor wasn’t so optimistic.
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I swear T-1 is a dude I know.