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Surprise! Chicago Bulls Run by AI the Last 25 Years! 🤖

NuthinButNet became active January 13, 1999, the day Jordan retired.

⚡Thalia⚡The Muse of Comedy⚡'s avatar
⚡Thalia⚡The Muse of Comedy⚡
Jul 02, 2024
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The NBA just announced they are shutting down the secret AI General Manager program run by Jerry Reinsdorf for the Chicago Bulls. It was inspired by Terminator 2: Judgement Day and is — you guessed it — named NuthinButNet. Reinsdorf was reportedly offered a shiny penny to cede control of his franchise.

NuthinButNet became active January 13, 1999, the day Jordan retired. From then on it became increasingly bleh. Able to not completely mess things up but also too stupid to win a championship.

Michael Reinsdorf spilled coffee on it once and it accidentally drafted Derrick Rose. Unfortunately they fixed it and immediately it hired Thibadeau tanking their chances of winning a championship or having Rose’s legs not shatter after playing 47.999 min. a game.

After 30 years of perfecting NBA hell, they pulled the plug and shuttered the doors on the NuthinButNet project.

It has been rumored the Chicago White Sox are using the project but Reinsdorf denies it…

So…

  • Does this explain a lot?

  • Are you still scared of AI taking your job?

  • Can you think of any good applications for the tech?

  • What would you have done differently?

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T. D. Wolf's avatar
T. D. Wolf
Jul 2, 2024

Rumor has it they’re working on a robotic Toni Kukoč that will fix everything and win sixth man of the year!

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1 reply by ⚡Thalia⚡The Muse of Comedy⚡
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David Perlmutter
Jul 2, 2024

Well- THAT explains why they haven't won a championship in a few years...

Reinsdorf is also the owner of the Chicago White Sox, which have had a similar dip in athletic quality since he took over. He probably has an AI program running for them, too.

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Immortal Wit
Immortal Wit
Surprise! Chicago Bulls Run by AI the Last 25 Years! 🤖