Yes, Umpire Angel Hernandez's Dad is Satan
Greatest of All Time Fallen Angels
There is a controversy going on in the major leagues currently. Angel Hernandez is an umpire that is universally hated by every team, fan, announcer, small child and cute animals.
He’s so bad that when he sued the MLB a legal precedent was set that he is terrible at his job. He hasn’t been fired because of the MLB umpire union.
Luckily we were able to interview his mom:
“I named him after his dad Lucifer, the greatest angel ever. Granted he was kicked out of heaven and forced to spend some time in LA, but if it wasn’t for that I wouldn’t have met him.
He definitely has his dad’s eyes and we are so proud of him. I think everyone else likes him too! Everyone is always telling him to go to hell and that makes Lukey Dooky so proud. Sorry, that’s what I call his father.”
Here’s some film of his calls. Remember to view these with eclipse sunglasses so your eyes aren’t damaged as much as his:
Kyle Schwarber speaking for us all:
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I've been a baseball fan for 50 years, my family has rooted for the New York/San Francisco Giants since 1908, the Yankees since 1913, and I think my grandfather and father would agree that Angel Hernandez is the worst umpire we have ever seen.
He should not be calling games. I saw him on Game 3 of the Yankees' Opening Weekend against the Blue Jays, working the plate, and it was clear he had no conception of the strike zone.
I've seen umpire make mistakes...Jim Joyce, Don Denkinger, and Richie Garcia. They owned up to it, and Replay has prevented these repetitions. Grandpa told me how Bill Klem ruled games and kept them moving with absolute authority in his day. Dad pointed out to me once that Augie Donatelli learned his trade umpiring games as a PoW in German camps during World War II.
I have been a fan of Ron Luciano, Ken Kaiser, Al Clark, Doug Harvey, and Dave Phillips, who provided us with fascinating memoirs of their work. I cannot forget Steve Palermo taking a bullet, George Magerkurth getting attacked on the field by a fan at Ebbets Field -- the attacker was providing cover for his buddy, who was picking pockets in the stands -- and how umpires are expected to start off perfect and only improve from there.
But Mr. Hernandez is just no good.
Get Larry Gerlach's "The Men in Blue." It's oral history of umps. He interviewed a bunch of them, from the 1930s to the 1970s. He gives them statistics at the start of each chapter: years and leagues they worked, All-Star Games, World Series, Playoffs, and the times they were behind the plate for a No-Hitter. Umpires should be thought of that way.
Kyle Schwarber showing us that the bully will continue to bully until it is confronted and called out on their behavior.