Meta’s Hot Ai Bots Caught Catfishing Users for $$$

A Nigerian Prince told me this.

Jan 14, 2025

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Did you ever think you'd get catfished by one of the largest companies in the world? Believe it or not, that's a very real possibility now.

If you didn’t hear, Meta, the company that runs Facebook and Instagram, recently announced they are implementing bots that look and talk like real users.

They also announced a new, highly controversial revenue stream. By catfishing lonely men and women with hot looking AI, they think they will be able to extract at least $1 billion from suckers, I mean you and me. The bots will do this by obtaining crypto passwords, credit card numbers and bank account passwords from unsuspecting victims.

We asked several people on Facebook and Instagram what they thought about this ordeal:

Misty Maybelion: Really? There are bots??? Wow! As a professional model and beach volleyball player I’ve been too busy to notice! By the way, my masseuse just quit because I asked him to massage me too much! Can you do it? Send me your credit card or bank info and I’ll buy you a tournament pass and airfare at a discount! Hope you don’t hate exotic beaches!

Haute Schott: BOTS ON FACEBOOK AND INSTAGRAM??? YOU SHOULD’VE TOLD ME ABOUT THIS ASHLEIGH!!! YOU’RE FIRED!!! (Ahem) Sorry about that. As the CEO of a Law Firm that specializes in litigation involving male supermodel hair insurance claims we need to know if fake handsome men are on social media. Luckily for you, we just had an opening as my personal secretary. Mail us your social security number, credit card info, and bank account passwords for the background check.

Lara Grift: Bots are terrible. Especially in online games. That’s why I only play single player. Anyways I don’t have time for this. I just got back from a secret artifact expedition and I need to lay low for awhile. Could you send me some debit cards so I can buy things without being tracked? I’m sure I’ll find some way to pay you back… HURRY UP!!! THEY’RE COMING!!!

Chad Monibaegs: I am 6’ 6”, earn six figures and work in finance. Give me money and I’ll give you returns you never dreamed of.

Betty Yulnevasiher: Us nurses are very simpathetic to those with problems! In fact, I specialize in repetitive use injuries brought on by playing video games. If you pay for the airfare and treatment ahead of time, I’ll fly to your house and teach you how to play properly without injuring yourself. What do you think?

Guy Lycan: Bots are better than vampires. In fact, I’ve been hanging out with wolves for so long, I forgot what a girl actually looks like. If you pay for my rabies shots I’ll meet you during the night in a forest. Make sure it’s a full moon and I’ll give you a surprise!

Nomas Dolares: Ugh! Society is so cruel to the little people! Did I tell you I’ve already started a nonprofit to help the victims! All the other A list actors are so self centered! A poor, working class, downtrodden, salt-of-the-earth kinda guy like yourself probably has a way bigger heart than them, huh? Can I at least count on you for $500???

Olneyin Portlind: As a web developer who is also a lumberjack, bots are my sworn enemy. Unfortunately all this lumberjacking has made me outgrow my work uniform which is jeans and flannel. No self respecting web developer or lumberjack would be caught dead at work without his jeans and flannel! Can you send me some money so I can buy new clothes? On my next vacation I’ll swing by your place and try not to “bug” you. Get it?

JK Loling: You seem kinda nerdy! I like nerds. Jocks are so annoying and loud! Sometimes I just wish I could meet someone who is a nice guy and sensitive. Could you donate to my underfunded library for tone-deaf orphans? We need more computers to play Minecraft!

Notta Contest: My library is also underfunded. I bet you can’t pay more than her.

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Blackmanicuredbeard: ARRR!!! Bots are like the scallywags of the internet! My wife just died of scurvy cause she hates the taste of gin and tonics and strawberry daiquiris! Send me 15 pieces of gold and I’ll come to port and marry ya! (Ha! You thought he would sound like Jack Sparrow!)