Man Realizes His Mensa Meetup is Full of Villains 🦹🏻‍♂️

Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.

Oct 15, 2024

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Aurora, CO — Local hipster Afulis Bournevrisecund was surprised to find his local Mensa Meetup was actually run by villains. We asked him what happened:

“It was so strange. I thought that we were just engaging in the normal activities that you would expect amongst the intelligentsia.

Every meeting took place in a large library with a desk that had a map of the world on it. There were also little army pieces on it which I assumed were for a board game. It turned out the only board game we played was chess. It was a lot more banter than I was used to. It seemed like they were talking about something else the whole time.

I was watching two guys play. At one point, one of them won and yelled, “DESPITE ALL YOUR WELL LAID PLANS AND MECHANATIONS I HAVE ONCE AGAIN CAPTURED THAT WHICH YOU LOVE MOST!!!” Then the guy broke down in tears!

Then we would play music but the only instruments available were the violin and organ. People seemed very engrossed in thought when they played.

We also did chemistry experiments. I thought they were testing sleep medicine because they gave some to animals and the animal would go to sleep. It would be so sound asleep you couldn’t wake it if you tried.

Finally the thing that tipped me off was our taxidermy class. We practiced preserving the skulls of animals and humans which they assured me were all donated. I noticed however that every time someone stopped showing up a new skull would be there. I realized what was happening and faked my own death to throw them off the scent. I reported them to the police but when they showed up to the next meeting none of the villains were there.