Luigi is one of 2025’s most popular baby names?
Momma Mia! 2025 starts out witha bang!
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Prename, Suriname — Very distinguished name researchers at Forname University have published their findings for what they predict will be the most popular baby names in 2025. They compiled this list using the most exhaustive research techniques known to mankind. These involved thinking about using ai but then deciding it would be easier doomscrolling on Tiktok, Reddit, X, and 4chan. Here are the definitive results:
PaulMaud’dib - The Chosen One of the Dune series played by Timothee Chalamet. They theorize men chose it because he can ride sandworms and women chose it because they are jealous of his hair.
Shadow - Sonic the Hedgehog 3 just came out in theatres and introduced Goth Sonic, I mean Shadow the Hedgehog. Millennial parents figured this would give them an excuse to visit Hot Topic stores and play Sonic Adventure 2 again.
(Wikipedia) Godzilla - There are a bunch of Millennial men that played with Godzilla action figures that are dying to name their kid Godzilla. “Nice rebound Godzilla! Put it back up!”
Mufasa - Theatre kids now have a reason to play the Lion King soundtrack 24/7. “Hey lil’ Mufasa! This is who we named you after! Never stand near the edge of playground equipment, ok!”
Luigi - Not the Mario character! The alleged shooter is too dreamy for some. The fact he is possibly a criminal apparently increases his attractiveness?
Claude - The popular AI service has helped a lot of people. Men think that naming their child after it will give them the intelligence of a machine and the butt kickery of Jean Claude Van Damme.
Grogu (Baby Yoda) - Disney parents can’t get enough of Grogu! They hope it will give their baby a long life and a reason to ask for light sabers at the baby shower. “What? It’s for the kid!”
Satoshi - Satoshi is the mysterious creator of bitcoin. When it hit over $100,000 recently many people with diamond hands cried tears of joy they didn’t have to explain to their spouse where their retirement money went.
What names do you think they missed?
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If they're trying to raise a bunch of kids who grow up to be angry and disaffected because of teasing and bullying, and may replicate Mr. Mangione's achievement, these are the right names...