I Fact-Check 11 Crazy Superbowl XOXOXO Rumors

Can you handle the TRUTH?

Feb 04, 2025

This Superbowl is going to be a big one! I don’t want you getting out over your skis with all the rumors swirling around so I have fact-checked the most salient, popular rumors using SCIENCE!!!1 So grab a chicken wing and see all the hard work I did in this GOD TIER RUMOR ROUNDUP!!! ⚡⚡⚡

⚡GOD TIER RUMOR ROUNDUP ⚡

The NFL is throwing the Superbowl for the Chiefs because of Taylor Swift.
True! Before the season began, Swift threatened to write a song about Roger Goodell (NFL president) if Travis Kelce didn’t win the Superbowl. This way Travis will propose to Taylor Swift live after winning the Superbowl.
Yes
The game will be postponed and moved to Salt Lake City, UT after both teams don’t have enough players from partying the night before in New Orleans.
True! I will be on the scene reporting that night!
Kendrick Lamar is mysteriously too ill to sing the halftime show so Taylor Swift steps in.
True! He falls for one of the classic blunders! Never get involved in a land war in Asia and never take free absinthe shots from a rival singer WHEN HALFTIMES ON THE LINE! HAHAHAHAHA!!! 💀
What are the chances! (Jason Hanna/Getty)
The eagles from The Lord of the Rings will save the Philadelphia Eagles at the end like they did for Frodo and Gandalf.
True! Giant fictitious birds of prey will streak down from the sky and carry Jalen Hurts and Saquon Barkley to the endzone!
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Matt Nagy (Chief’s Most Offensive Coordinator) has his grandma run the ball in for a touchdown.
So true it hurts! I’m having flashbacks from watching the Bears and find it hard to joke right now!
Matt Nagy after losing the game becomes the McDonald’s assistant manager he always wanted to be.
True! Ok I’ll stop.
Jason Kelce will make a surprise showing with the Eagles and give his brother a wedgie during the coin toss.
True! Travis will receive a Bionicle wedgie in front of the whole stadium. Refs will be confused whether, “AAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEE!!!” means heads or tails.
Ouch! (lego.com)
Andy Reid will switch back to his old team the Eagles at halftime for the win.
True! He’s going to start a bidding war at halftime to see which team will pay him the most cheeseburgers. Philly will grease the wheels with some Philly cheasesteaks.
Another gigantic snowstorm occurs in New Orleans. The lack of snow plows causes mass hysteria. We’re talking biblical proportions!
True! Just another day in 2025, am I right?
Travis Kelce begins and ends his rap career at half time?
True! Kelce will rap a cover of If You Wanna Be Happy and be knocked unconscious before he can finish the song!
People from New Orleans send me Cajun food because they like this article so much.
True! I’m a starving artist! (I also accept paid subscriptions for less than $2 a month!)