Elon Wears Gaudy Tesla Mech Suit to Oscars

Ready by next year

The 2024 Oscars were held March 10th this Saturday. Many stars and starlets walked the red carpet showing off their newest clothes or lack thereof. All the usual designer brands were there, many were absurdly expensive costing $1,000 or more. There was one outfit that stood out.

Elon Musk showed up in a new, luxurious, never-before-seen Tesla Robo Warrior Mech Suit estimated to cost $100 million. It comes with options like cuff links, espresso maker and a 100 megaton payload that can delete your enemies in less than 0.5 seconds.

We asked Musk about his suit:

Thalia: We see you’re wearing something different to the Oscar’s today! What is it?

Elon: Oh yeah, this thing. I forgot I was wearing it honestly. Yeah, it was sitting around in one of our labs and I figured, “Why not wear it?” It was more convenient for me to fly here anyways. I got here in about half an hour from our Texas Gigafactory.

There were some geese and rival satellites which would’ve slowed me down had I not brought my full weapons payload so I was happy I did that. It was also nice because I was able to answer some emails with it’s Starlink connection. Tesla autopilot took care of everything else.

Thalia: YOU’RE USING TESLA AUTOPILOT WITH THIS???

Elon: Yeah it’s got a couple kinks in it but they should be ironed out next year.

Thalia: What are the kinks?

Elon: Ehhh, recognizing friend or foe, randomly activating the weapons system or telling me, “No” when I give it a command.

Thalia: Uhhh ok.

Elon: Just don’t make any sudden movements. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Thalia: (gulp)

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1. Would you buy one of these next year?

2. Who do you know would want this?

3. What options would you like these to have?