After an intense argument on the internet, 11 year old girl Madison Washington was finally declared the winner by way of Pedantic Grammar Knockout. Up against insurmountable odds she used her rudimentary middle school English knowledge to seize victory from the onslaught of facts and reason.
The odds were stacked up against her in the internet forum r/cultivateSpottedGerbils on Reddit. Her opponent Bo Beauregard was a seasoned professional breeder with awards in the Tuscaloosa Spotted Gerbil Beauty Pageant, 1 PhD in Agricultural Science, and the inventor of the Mickey Mouse gerbil.
Madison claimed purple spots could easily be achieved by feeding them a cranberry/blueberry mixture. Bo in return, wrote a 1000 word diatribe citing centuries of research about how dumb it was. His fatal mistake? He mixed up “your” and “you’re”.
Madison pounced typing, “*you’re.” The correction hit it’s mark. Down goes Bo.
She logged off of the computer instantly. He must not have had a real PhD because even Madison knows the difference and she’s in middle school.
We will never know what happened to Bo. All of his genius and years of experience invalidated by a simple grammer mistake. We can only assume his medals, degree and inventions were rescinded because every one and they’re mother knows if your not able to type good, their must be sumthing lacking in you’re intellagence. (I refuse responsibility for all aneurysms incurred from reading that paragraph.)
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Twitter: @thaliascomedy Reddit: u/thaliascomedy
"The correction hit it's mark." This sentence makes the story all the funnier.
I laughed. Great piece!