Satire News from The Comedy Muse with no politics! Subscribe to have my articles emailed to you with no spam!
Editor’s Note: Yes I said I was taking a break but I couldn’t resist this story. This will move my break to Aug 30th. Expect normal posts that day.
An Aussie has gained fame recently (or more likely infamy) for her performance in the new Olympic sport of Breaking or more commonly known as breakdancing. Rachel “Raygun” Gunn lost all three of her matches 18-0 in spectacular fashion. It actually has caused NBC to quietly delete all the Olympic Break videos from Peacock.
View her dancing HERE.
She graduated with a PhD in Cultural Studies and a BA in contemporary music. “Her work draws on cultural theory, dance studies, popular music studies, media, and ethnography” according to her LinkedIn
Maybe taking break dancing too literally, she broke something alright. Her trainer told us she was warming up and knew something was off, “She was complaining about some pains in the lower posterior region of the gluteus maximus. She was partying pretty late the night before and it’s possible she pulled something in the middle of a dance circle. A group of tribal Australians in France were at the club she was at and she couldn’t resist showing that she knew their native dance.”
We hunted down some of the Aussie bar patrons and asked them about her. Here’s what they said:
“Her dance moves were sick! It reminded me of a dying kangaroo.”
“She danced exactly like I imagined a PhD would dance.”
“My Great Grandmother, the leader of our tribe, used to dance like that. We gave her some water and she got better.”
Luckily we were able to catch her after the contest, “Yeah, last night was rough. Definitely broke my groove thang bouncing around like a kangaroo. Those are the risks you take when you’re a top tier Olympic athlete though. I’m hoping Dr. Zhane can cure my groove thang. Hopefully it hasn’t completely atrophied beyond repair.”
Discuss in the comments
Know anyone who broke their groove thang? When?
They say everything in Australia can kill you. Looks like they might have killed Olympic breakdancing. Why are you so deadly Aussies???
What person do you elect to represent your country for dancing?
Are you a good dancer?
If you liked this, checkout:
Support My Work!
Your support helps me out a lot!
Buy Me a Coffee | Pantheon Pass⚡ | Crypto
Socials
Twitter | Reddit | thaliascomedy.com
Like, comment and share to help me out!
Enjoy your break! Looking forward to Thalia: The Return!!
Breaking Matilda
Breaking Matilda
Don’t you come breaking Matilda with me.